Well, that’s what I heard, anyway
As a younger officer – yes, it was some years ago, thank you – I recall telling an older officer that I wanted to speak to him about Salvationists who love gossiping. He leaned in closer and said, “Why, what have you heard? Who told you? Did they talk about me?”
I replied that my interest was in how to deal with gossips. He seemed disappointed for some reason but then said that he’d discovered two methods that seemed to work pretty well most of the time.
His first was that if someone started talking to him about what someone else had said or done that was supposedly terrible or not too Christlike, he would say to the gossiper, “Oh, let’s ring them right now, and I’ll ask them about this,” and he’d get his mobile phone out.
Invariably, this would cause the gossiper to go pale as they were about to be fact-checked immediately and, more so, they didn’t want to be there in case they were reported as the gossiper – “Oh, hello, Jim. Stuart has just told me that you said …”
His second tactic was simply to write down the gossip. He would say, in response to the person gossiping, “Oh, that’s terrible. Let me write this down right now. What’s the date and time?” He would pause with pen poised above paper as the gossiper realised their every word was about to be recorded, seemingly against their name and the date and time. This would often send them scampering.
At one corps, I had someone tell me a rumour about someone else who, amusingly, they didn’t realise was my cousin. I asked them to ‘go on’ and ‘go on’ and ‘go on’ for several minutes, until I said to them, “Well, I’m having dinner with him next Saturday, so I’ll ask him.”
The Bible talks much about gossiping. Proverbs 20:19 refers to a gossip as a “simple babbler” (ESV) or a “blabbermouth” (The Message), and 1 Timothy 5:13 calls them “busybodies who talk nonsense, saying things they ought not to” (NIV). Other texts refer to giving false reports, slandering, whisperers, deceivers and those with “wicked lips”.
I wonder if the disciples gossiped?
Philip: I heard Jesus say that the ‘prodigal son’ was really in reference to Peter.
Thomas: Yes, I don’t doubt it.
James: Judas talks in his sleep. He counts money. I think he’s planning something.
Bartholomew: Someone told me he’s saving for a new donkey ... just needs 30 more silver coins.
Simon: I’ve heard Peter is jealous of John because he’s Jesus’ favourite.
Thaddeus: That’s funny, I heard John is jealous of Peter because he’s Jesus’ favourite.
Jesus: That’s funny, I heard Simon and Thaddeus like spreading rumours.
– Major Mal Davies is Assistant Divisional Commander for the Victoria Division.
