Sweet dreams

Doc – Welcome, good to see you again, William. Please feel free to sit or lie down on the couch, as you feel you’d prefer.

William – Thank you. As I’ve said before, I really don’t know why I’m here but Kate wanted me to talk to someone … and I always do what Kate says.

Doc – Yes, I’m sure she wants the best for you and, really, there’s no harm in us just having a chat, is there?

William – No, I suppose not. Right, where do you want to start?

Doc – Well, I did just want to pick up on something you mentioned in our last session. You said you’d had some sort of vision of people marching down a street, wearing uniform, and that this was somehow a vision of a church, is that right? A church?

William – Yes, it’s a dream I’ve had many times. People in uniforms, some of them playing brass instruments, some of them shaking tambourines…

Doc – Tambourines, you say?

William – Yes, with ribbons attached. And they all marched to a busy park where they gathered in a circle and held a church service.

Doc – In the park?

William – Yes, in the park.

Doc – Was there a preacher?

William – Yes, some tall, older fellow with a long white beard. He waved his arms and yelled a lot.

Doc – No idea who he was?

William – Not at all. I mean, it’s not me. I’m only 40 and have a short beard.

Doc – Yes, of course. And why the uniforms, do you think?

William – Not sure. Perhaps it’s a military band rehearsing their marching and the bandmaster stopped them, told them to gather around and then gave them a wild telling off.

Doc – But earlier you’d said it was a church service.

William – Yes, I did, that’s right. In my dream there are Bibles waved about and people falling to their knees and praying, and it all seems, for all intents and purposes, akin to a church service.

Doc – In a park.

William – Most certainly, in a park.

Doc – Anything else about this supposed church service?

William – Yes. After the wild man preached, some people would kneel at the bass drum and some would cry and others would have someone join them.

Doc – Kneeling? At the drum?

William – Yes. It was placed on its side and folks would kneel at it, seemingly in prayer.

Doc – Were they worshipping the drum, do you think?

William – I hope not. It’s a drum!

Doc – Well, this is most unusual. And you have this dream often?

William – Yes, almost nightly. It haunts me. Sometimes I wake with a start and yell, ‘Hallelujah!’ and Kate almost jumps out of bed with surprise. It’s not good for my nerves nor hers.

Doc – Well, what I think you have here, William, is a classic case of anachronistic Boothism.

William – Sorry? What might that be?

Doc – You seem to be imagining yourself as William Booth in the foundational days of The Salvation Army.

William – And how do I address this ailment and move on?

Doc – I’d suggest, just get busy, your Highness. Open some hospitals, make some speeches, address parliament, that sort of thing. Focus on the present. You’ll be cured in no time.

William – Righto, thank you, I’ll be on my way then. Thank you very much for your help.

Doc – My pleasure. And please pass on my greetings to the Princess of Wales when you get home. I hope Kate is doing well.

Major Mal Davies is the Assistant Divisional Commander for the Victoria Division

(Cartoon of Mal drawn by Vaughan Duck)