Just resting my eyes

Eutychus – I’m telling the truth, Mum. I was listening to Paul teach, and someone pushed me out of a window on the third storey. I hit the ground and died, and Paul brought me back to life.

Scepticus – Rubbish. You went to sleep and fell out a window again, didn’t you?

Eutychus – I swear I didn’t, Mum. I know it was late, but Paul was wonderful, and I was listening intently and suddenly someone pushed me.

Scepticus – Who pushed you?

Eutychus – I don’t know. I didn’t see them.

Scepticus – Were you looking at Paul or out the window? Or just maybe your eyes were closed.

Eutychus – No, I was looking at Paul.

Scepticus – So you were sitting on the windowsill, looking into the room and someone you didn’t see pushed you out of the window.

Eutychus – [pause] Yes.

Scepticus – More likely that someone threw a lasso up from the street and pulled you out the window!

Eutychus – No, I was pushed. [pause] Perhaps it was a movement of the Spirit.

Scepticus – The Spirit pushed you to your death? Is that what happened? God said, ‘Hmm, don’t like the looks of him. Might kill him in some sort of creative way. Push.’ Is that your story?

Eutychus – The Lord works in mysterious ways. I’m a miracle! I was dead and am alive. You should be celebrating.

Scepticus – Celebrating? I’m the talk of the town. The mother with the idiot son who sat in a windowsill and then fell asleep. When I got up this morning, you know what someone left on my kitchen windowsill? A tiny little blanket and pillow and a note saying, “For your boy Eutychus, next time he needs a nap.”

Eutychus – Well, that’s not very nice. Paul performed a wonderful miracle, and we should be celebrating.

[knock at the door]

Paul – Hello? Paul here. Just thought I’d swing by to see how Eutychus is.

Scepticus – Oh, Paul, what a surprise. It’s an honour to have you in our house. Can I get you anything?

Paul – No, thank you. Just dropped in to see … oh, there he is. How are you doing, sleepyhead?

Scepticus – What? Why did you call him …

Paul – Yes, last night I was talking away and had the room totally silent and captivated, and suddenly, we heard this snoring sound. We all turned around, and he was doing his impression of two men sawing a log – what a noise! Everyone had a bit of a laugh, so I went over to see him.

Scepticus – So he WAS asleep! Did you try to wake him?

Paul – No. I pushed him out the window.

Eutychus – See! I told you, Mum!

Scepticus – Why would you do that, Paul?

Paul – Oh, done it before. It works like a charm.  I knew I could just bring him back to life – God is good! – and it would make the event the talk of the town. Wonderful PR. In fact, I’m here to ask if Eutychus could come with me to Assos; we set sail shortly. We could do the whole asleep, push, fall, dead, alive thing again. It will be great!

Scepticus – Well, that depends. Eutychus, tell me the truth now, were you asleep?

Eutychus – I may have rested my eyes just for a moment. But I was still pushed! I’m going with Paul; better than staying here where no one believes me.

Scepticus – Fine. Do that. But here, take a pillow.

Eutychus – But, Mum, that will make it a bit obvious, won’t it?

Scepticus – I don’t want you to sleep on it. Leave it outside the window for a softer landing. I don’t want my little boy getting hurt while he’s ‘resting his eyes’.

Major Mal Davies is the Assistant Divisional Commander for the Victoria Division.