Heart to heart on Valentine’s Day
“Why limit Valentine’s Day to just romantic love when all love is worth celebrating?”
BY FAYE MICHELSON
The oft-quoted line from the movie Forrest Gump, “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get”, is perfect for Valentine’s Day.
Will your beloved one or secret admirer send you heart-shaped choccies or a dozen long-stemmed roses? Perhaps take you to a candlelit dinner or a picnic by the beach? Or do you know exactly what you’re going to get – nothing!
For all its glitter and red hearts, what many people get from Valentine’s Day is stress. There’s the expense, the commercialism or the feeling of being excluded because there is no one to spoil you, or for you to spoil.
But take heart – a big, glittery, red Valentine’s one – because this year, we’re going to make the most of the day of love. Why limit Valentine’s Day to just romantic love when all love is worth celebrating?
Not-so-romantic legends
To be honest, the whole legend of St Valentine is anything but romantic. There are several saints called Valentine recognised by the Catholic Church, and the Roman Empire martyred all of them. The legends include the third-century priest Valentine, who defied Claudius II and continued to marry soldiers despite the emperor’s edict to ban marriage because single men made better soldiers.
Another legend centres on the Valentine who helped Christians escape Roman prisons. Unfortunately, it ended badly for both these Valentines. There’s also a legend to explain the origin of the Valentine’s Day greeting with yet another Valentine – imprisoned, of course – who wrote a letter to his beloved and signed it ‘From your Valentine.’
As at least one of them was believed to have been buried on 14 February, that’s the date we now observe. Many traditions have evolved, some through commercial interests. For instance, who would have thought England’s postal reforms would make a huge impact on Valentine’s Day? When the postage stamp was introduced in 1840, making sending letters accessible and affordable to the common folk, 400,000 Valentines were sent the following year. And, not only that, but these missives could also be sent anonymously, helping along the notion of secret admirers.
Different traditions
While celebrations here largely centre on romantic love, Valentine’s Day is marked in different ways in different nations.
Finland and Estonia call it Friend’s Day, a time to get together for meals and have fun with the people who are important to them, whether best buddies, neighbours, or family. The day was officially included in Finnish calendars in the mid-1990s, with giving cards an important part of the celebrations. Nearby Estonia adopted Friend’s Day not long after, with the celebration gaining popularity after the Iron Curtain lifted.
Friendship is also the focus of Valentine’s Day celebrations in some Latin American countries, such as El Salvador and the Dominican Republic.
Amigo Secreto (Secret Friend) is a version of Kris Kringle, a fun tradition among school children where they draw a name to buy a small gift to exchange with each other.
Similarly, in the US, it’s common for primary-aged children to celebrate Valentine’s Day by giving their classmates cards, often with a lolly attached, with a message about what they appreciate about the recipient. It’s fun but also an opportunity to think about others in a positive way.
So, forget about any preconceived rules about how and with whom you’ll celebrate Valentine’s Day. There are lots of people to love and be thankful for in our world – partners, friends, families and people in our community. You know what? I love the coffee in our local café – I might just give the barista a little choccy heart this Valentine’s Day and tell her how much I appreciate her.
