A store by any other name ...
Many of you will have seen photos online of shops with clever, funny or unique trading names. They’re a credit to business owners who thought along the lines of, “Why just say call it a bakery when I can call it Bread Pitt?”
Some of my favourite ones are the laundromat called ‘Lord of the Rinse’, the greengrocers called ‘Melon Cauli’, the Chinese restaurant called ‘Wok This Way’, and the clothing alterations service called ‘Sew It Seams’.
I’m also a big fan of bookshops, and there are some fantastic store names around: ‘A Likely Story’, ‘Bound to Please’, ‘Writer’s Block’, ‘Just One More Page’ and ‘Shelf Indulgence’. I like that last one especially – there’s nothing like getting lost amongst the shelves of a large bookstore and finding some treasures.
So, if Salvationist business owners decided to go with a Christian or Salvo-themed name, what sort of creative titles might we see?
Hairdresser – Shaved to Serve
Café – CSM (coffee, sandwiches, muffins)
Mechanic – Under the Bonnet
A mirror shop – Major Look
Costume shop – Charlie Chaplain’s
Kitchenware – Storm the Forks
Angling shop – Praise Cod!
Cheese shop – Stand Up For Cheeses!
Grocers – Apple Corps
Bookshop – The Good Book
Welding business – Onward Christian Solderers
Post office – Epistles and Parcels
Milliners – Captain Cap
Maths tutors – Long Divisional Headquarters
Finally, and just for fun, a brass instrument-playing bikie club in Victoria’s capital city – Melbourne’s Tough Band.
Major Mal Davies is the Assistant Divisional Commander for the Victoria Division
