A krafty dream
And it came to pass that Pharaoh did dream: he stood by the river and, behold, there came up out of the river seven sleek and fat cows and they fed in a meadow. And, behold, seven other cows came up out of the river, ugly and gaunt, and stood by the other cows upon the bank of the river. And the gaunt cows did eat up the seven sleek cows.
Pharaoh awoke and his spirt was troubled, and he sent and called for all the magicians of Egypt and all the wise men thereof, and Pharaoh told them his dream, but there was none that could interpret it unto Pharaoh.
Then spake the chief butler unto Pharaoh, saying, “There is with us a young man, a Hebrew, servant to the captain of the guard, and he has the gift of interpretation of dreams.”
Then Pharaoh sent and called for Joseph, and they brought him hastily: and he changed his raiment and came in unto Pharaoh. And Pharaoh said unto Joseph, “I have dreamed a dream, and I have heard say of thee that thou canst understand a dream to interpret it.”
Pharaoh recited his dream unto Joseph and said, “I told this unto the magicians; but there was none that could declare it to me. How dost thou read my dream? Speak of what it announces to me.”
And Joseph said unto Pharaoh, “Uh … I dunno. Did you have too much cheese before you went to bed?” and he did winketh at Pharaoh.
And Pharoah was enraged and did beseech Joseph to further ponder the matter and give utterance.
“Well,” said Joseph, “I think the seven fat cows represent the seven hills of Syria, and the seven skinny ones represent lightning bolts, and the dream symbolises how God will strike down Syria.”
The Pharaoh was amazed at Joseph’s discerning spirit and exclaimed, “How hast thou concluded such?”
And Joseph responded, “Well … sometimes I just say stuff. Doesn’t matter.”
A servant, with haste, did whisper into Pharaoh’s ear and then Pharaoh stood and loudly proclaimed, “There be not seven hills in the desert wasteland of Syria! Thou best give utterance again, or the dungeon beckons!”
And Joseph did gulp and declare, “I didn’t say hills; I said Bills. There’s seven nasty blokes in Syria, all called Bill, and they’re currently planning to invade Egypt. God will strike down the seven Bills in Syria.”
The Pharaoh did retain his seat, and his demeanour did alter as he sayyeth unto Joseph, “Yeah, okay, I reckon that makes sense. Cheers.” And Joseph did sigh and wipe the sweat from his forehead.
And the Pharaoh did call his chief butler and did whisper unto him, “Belvedere, no more cheese for me before nigh nighs.”
– Major Mal Davies is Assistant Divisional Commander for the Victoria Division
