A joyful noise for the Lord

Silent night, holy night,

All is calm, all is bright,

Then the silence is shattered at last

By the sound of a tenor horn blast,

I jump out of my seat,

There’s a brass band in my street!

Silent night, holy night,

Something sounds not quite right,

Cornets shrieking like cats on a fence,

Trombones try hard but fail to make sense,

Baritones out of tune,

Maybe we’ve got a full moon.

Silent night, holy night,

Drummers thump, what a sight!

Eupho players who can’t find the note,

B flat bass that sounds just like a boat,

Is he playing a foghorn?

No, he’s just stepped on a thorn.

Silent night, holy night,

Bandmaster, do what’s right.

March them way down the end of the street,

No, I don’t care about their sore feet,

Lead them far from my home,

I think one stepped on my gnome!

Silent night, holy night,

Peace at last, all seems right.

While I love a good Army band,

That lot sounded both tone deaf and bland,

They made playing a chore,

It’s a shame they’re from my corps.

– Major Mal Davies and his wife Major Tracey are the Corps Officers at Adelaide City Salvos